As you prepare for one of the most important shopping days in your daughter’s life, which you’ve likely envisioned since she was born, it’s crucial to remember one thing: it’s all about her. Her choices, her wants and needs, her likes and dislikes, and her feelings, even if they’re not the same as yours. You may have questions and thoughts running through your mind or be worried about what to say or do during your daughter’s dress shopping experience. What is the appropriate amount of guidance and feedback that a mom should to give? Can she tell her daughter which gown is her favorite? Does a daughter really want an opinion from her mom about fashion? Should mothers be an active participant in the final decision?

It’s not uncommon for a bride to feel stressed, nervous, or anxious in anticipation of her dress shopping experience. Will the dress she loves online look good on her? Will everyone else like the same dress she loves? What will her fiancé think of the dress she chooses? These are some of the most common concerns we hear from our brides.

Shopping for a wedding dress is a wonderful time for mother-daughter bonding and we’d like to offer some words of wisdom to help create a relaxed and memorable life moment for you both. With your support we can help our brides feel confident in their decision making, calm their nerves, educate them, build their trust in us, set their mind at ease. Remember that your daughter invited you to attend this experience because your presence matters. Your approval, love, and support mean the world to her. Simply being there for her with an open, loving heart and sharing in this experience is the most important thing.

Be positive. Be supportive. Be kind. If you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s probably better left unsaid. Allow your daughter to give her feedback first. You can utilize this information to buffer your response. If she doesn’t seem overly impressed by a gown you also don’t love, you can agree with her objections to the gown. However, if she is glowing, smiling from ear to ear, and expressing all of the things she “loves” about a dress, reciprocate that. Tell your daughter she is beautiful. Tell her you are proud of her and so excited for her. Smile and express your pride.

When she asks you which dress you like best, turn the question back to her, “Which gown do YOU love most?”. Remind her that this decision is hers to make and that she needs to love the dress, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Resist the temptation to admit you actually have a favorite, especially if your favorite isn’t the same as her. She is really hoping you will love her favorite dress as much as she does. Therefore, do not disappoint her by expressing hesitation. She might be crushed if your opinion differs from hers. Let her know that her top choices are all incredible options and she really can’t go wrong with which one she chooses. Remind her that she is smart, and you trust her to pick a dress she looks and feels amazing in. Remember that she is the one wearing the dress, so she must make the decision.

A mother only gets to dress her young child. Your daughter is now a grown woman, so allow her to select the dress she wants to wear. You should not talk her into wearing something you want. Let her lead the way. She is capable of making her own decisions because you taught her well. Show your daughter the respect she deserves by supporting her choice.

When she officially says yes to her dress and pure bliss is beaming from her face, do not deflate her moment by suggesting she “sleep on it.” The excitement is in the moment she knows this is her dress. She wants to jump for joy and celebrate! Suggesting she spend the evening thinking about it will only destroy her self-esteem and cause her to second guess her decision. The thrill of finding your perfect dress can’t be recreated.

Finally, take pride in watching the little girl you adore turn into a woman. Give your daughter every reason to be happy she invited you shopping. Share in her joy and excitement!

All images of our real bride, Kiara, captured by Fox and Film

Tebault Bridal
1590 Arapaho Ave.
St. Augustine, FL 32084
(904) 829-7098

Words of Wisdom for Mothers of the Bride